Okay, maybe I do have a tendency to "wander" off........
So yesterday I took Starbuck for a walk and was just going to stop below Daniel's Hill. That was going to be my turnaround point. But I just had this urge to trek up Daniel's Hill. So off Starbuck and I "wandered" and began the uphill climb. I briefly considered that Jon did not know that we were going up there but I reasoned that Daniel's Hill was local and thus was just like walking by Beaver Lake. That was my reasoning at any rate. I suppose that was debatable.

The thing about wandering up Daniel's Hill in the winter is that everything changes the higher you go. As you go up, you pick up more snow. The only human sounds are the ones you make. The sounds you do hear outside of yourself are nature's. There were birds chattering and the noise of the running creek. There was Starbuck frolicking and rolling in the snow. I felt the tensions of life roll away.

Daniel's Hill required cardio effort. So as we climbed I got into my zone as I call it. I was breathing deeply, my heart rate picked up to feed all the working muscles. My stride was that comfortable slow steady long pull. I was caught up in the rhythm of the effort required. I had songs in my head but could not sing them due to the effort of continuing the journey. I heard the old old carol "I wonder as I wander out under the sky..." I let it flow through my mind and echo in my heart. Again it became one of those transcending moments where eternity and the finite meet.

Once at the top, light snowflakes began to dance through the air. A large spruce whose branches were heavy with snow caught my attention. At its very top sat one lone bird. I lifted my face to the sky to feel the snow flurries and to breathe in the fresh air. Standing still my breathing and heart rate slowed to normal. I began to sing "O Come O Come Emanuel." There was only God to hear and He did not care if I was off-key. As I sang, the Holy Spirit began to sing through me and the song transcended the earthly moment to become a heavenly one. Starbuck sat quietly by. And in that moment I was glad that I had wandered off.......

"Rejoice, Rejoice, Emanuel. O come to thee O Israel."

And then there was peace......Yesterday I was sitting in the recliner reading a book and listening to Christmas music (yes, Christmas music). Oh by the way, I was sitting in front of one of my Christmas trees as well. Yes I am one of those people. I digress......As the familiar song was playing Jon was in the kitchen and would occasionally quietly hum along with the song. We both sing a little off key and that would mean that we tend to hum off key as well. I stopped reading and just smiled. It was such a sweet thing, a spontaneous thing; the music and my husband humming here and there. I took in a deep breath of the sweetness. I was aware of the Holy Spirit's presence as the Holy Spirit lives within us both. And then there was peace.

Life is full of moments of peace. And I love it when it just sneaks up on me like that moment yesterday. I am convinced that those moments of awareness are moments where eternity meets us within our finite world reminding us of the "home" to come. I know that those moments come to sustain us and remind us of the "Peace Giver." It reminds us that we are not alone and that truly we are just passing through this world.

"My peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." Jesus Christ

And then there was peace.......

Forever Changed.....Carrie Underwood sings a song by this title. It is about the subtle slip of a person's mind as she ages. When I hear this song, I cry. Daddy.......things have changed within your mind but you are still Daddy. You talk of people who have long gone to be with God as if they were by your side. Perhaps in a spiritual sense they are. Things have changed but you are still Daddy. Sometimes you have a blankness in your eyes and then suddenly they awake with awareness. You get frustrated because you know things have changed for you. But you are still Daddy.

As you sift through memories, I have begun to do the same, remembering you from the perspective of the little girl I once was. We had fun, Daddy. You and Billy Matthews could come up with such outrageous things like making turtle soup and frying frog legs from frogs you caught. I remember the frogs because I accidentally kicked over the bucket with the rest of them within. It almost scarred me for life, not really, it is another precious memory. You took us on trips all over the country so that we could see things and experience life. We had fun, Daddy. Things are different now, but you are still Daddy.

You walked me down the isle as a young lady and you whispered, "You can drop the aspirin now. Susan Williams and Karen Wooten, you will know what he meant. You love Jon, my cowboy Air Force Chaplain now pastor husband as if he were your own son. Your mind goes other places now, but you are still Daddy.

I wrote last winter about "the kiss" as I call it. It only happens in winter and it lasts for just a couple of minutes. At the end of the day as the sun drops below the mountains, it hits the snow covered peak of Treasure Mountain last. The peak turns colors that can only exist from God's pallet; pinks and mauves and almost burgundy. And then it is gone as if God brushes His lips across the earth to end the day.

Our lives are like those moments. In light of eternity, our lives are but the length of that final "kiss" of brilliant color at the end of a winter day. So Daddy, this journey that you are now on will in light of eternity be brief. But no matter where your mind retreats to, you will still be Daddy. To God you will always be his child, his beloved.

"Teach us to number our days aright that we might gain a heart of wisdom.....Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." Psalm 90:12 and 14

The light is different now..... The earth has tilted for Fall and is on its way to tilt for winter. The sun pops up over the mountains later in the morning and drops down earlier in the evening. The peaks have donned their winter white clothing and the sky is acquiring that particular clear indescribable blue that it turns here at 8000 ft in winter. This world moves me and keeps me pondering the mysteries of God.

The light is different now.....A loved one's mind slips into a world that is difficult to reach. I remember a mind that was sharp. I see that mind withdraw to a place that is hard to comprehend. This change moves me and I feel things very deep within that I have never before experienced. This place too, keeps me pondering the mysteries of God.

The light is different now.....the holidays are close at hand. But this year there will be an empty seat at the family table. This sorrow is so deep that words are difficult to find. Yet there is a bittersweet feeling as I recall a loud laugh and almost nonstop talking. You were like a light, a meteor of sorts that flew across our hearts and lives and was all too soon gone. Megan........This loss moves me and also draws me to ponder the mysteries of God.

The light is different now.... The earth has tilted for Fall and is on its way to tilt for winter. The sun pops up over the mountains later in the morning and drops down earlier in the evening. The peaks have donned their winter white clothing and the sky is acquiring that particular clear indescribable blue that it turns here at 8000 ft in winter. This world moves me and keeps me pondering the mysteries of God.........and within the pondering I hear the Still Small Voice say I AM here.