Forever Changed.....Carrie Underwood sings a song by this title. It is about the subtle slip of a person's mind as she ages. When I hear this song, I cry. Daddy.......things have changed within your mind but you are still Daddy. You talk of people who have long gone to be with God as if they were by your side. Perhaps in a spiritual sense they are. Things have changed but you are still Daddy. Sometimes you have a blankness in your eyes and then suddenly they awake with awareness. You get frustrated because you know things have changed for you. But you are still Daddy.

As you sift through memories, I have begun to do the same, remembering you from the perspective of the little girl I once was. We had fun, Daddy. You and Billy Matthews could come up with such outrageous things like making turtle soup and frying frog legs from frogs you caught. I remember the frogs because I accidentally kicked over the bucket with the rest of them within. It almost scarred me for life, not really, it is another precious memory. You took us on trips all over the country so that we could see things and experience life. We had fun, Daddy. Things are different now, but you are still Daddy.

You walked me down the isle as a young lady and you whispered, "You can drop the aspirin now. Susan Williams and Karen Wooten, you will know what he meant. You love Jon, my cowboy Air Force Chaplain now pastor husband as if he were your own son. Your mind goes other places now, but you are still Daddy.

I wrote last winter about "the kiss" as I call it. It only happens in winter and it lasts for just a couple of minutes. At the end of the day as the sun drops below the mountains, it hits the snow covered peak of Treasure Mountain last. The peak turns colors that can only exist from God's pallet; pinks and mauves and almost burgundy. And then it is gone as if God brushes His lips across the earth to end the day.

Our lives are like those moments. In light of eternity, our lives are but the length of that final "kiss" of brilliant color at the end of a winter day. So Daddy, this journey that you are now on will in light of eternity be brief. But no matter where your mind retreats to, you will still be Daddy. To God you will always be his child, his beloved.

"Teach us to number our days aright that we might gain a heart of wisdom.....Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." Psalm 90:12 and 14

The light is different now..... The earth has tilted for Fall and is on its way to tilt for winter. The sun pops up over the mountains later in the morning and drops down earlier in the evening. The peaks have donned their winter white clothing and the sky is acquiring that particular clear indescribable blue that it turns here at 8000 ft in winter. This world moves me and keeps me pondering the mysteries of God.

The light is different now.....A loved one's mind slips into a world that is difficult to reach. I remember a mind that was sharp. I see that mind withdraw to a place that is hard to comprehend. This change moves me and I feel things very deep within that I have never before experienced. This place too, keeps me pondering the mysteries of God.

The light is different now.....the holidays are close at hand. But this year there will be an empty seat at the family table. This sorrow is so deep that words are difficult to find. Yet there is a bittersweet feeling as I recall a loud laugh and almost nonstop talking. You were like a light, a meteor of sorts that flew across our hearts and lives and was all too soon gone. Megan........This loss moves me and also draws me to ponder the mysteries of God.

The light is different now.... The earth has tilted for Fall and is on its way to tilt for winter. The sun pops up over the mountains later in the morning and drops down earlier in the evening. The peaks have donned their winter white clothing and the sky is acquiring that particular clear indescribable blue that it turns here at 8000 ft in winter. This world moves me and keeps me pondering the mysteries of God.........and within the pondering I hear the Still Small Voice say I AM here.

And there was the bear......I had deliberated on which trail to take my yellow lab, Starbuck yesterday. I wanted to hike to Lost Creek and have a picnic but it was a little off the beaten track. My other option was a road that we call Ski Lodge Road because someone tried to build a ski resort off that road in the 70s. It never made it into a resort. Jon was not at home and so no one would miss us if we did not return. So I chose the more traveled Ski Lodge Road. It should be the safest trek.

I had been taking photos of bear prints up there for about three weeks but was not concerned because the road should not be the typical place to see a bear during that time of day, right? After all I had not seen the bear since seeing the prints. Well, this was my sound reasoning.

So Starbuck and I were on the way back home and had made it down to the curves and the aspen grove. Starbuck had been sniffing the air and acting as if she smelled something different. However she is always alert on that road because of all the deer and elk. But then I saw it and stopped dead in my tracks. Just below us standing up on its hind feet was a black bear right in the open, right in front of an aspen. It was between me and my way home. Suddenly Starbuck spotted it. She began barking like a wild thing. I was clinging to her leash (thankfully on a short lead) to keep her from getting away from me or dragging me toward the bear. Her barking got the bear's attention and it dropped on all fours and ran into the trees. Because it was running away from us I was able to appreciate its beauty. Only one little problem. The bear ran in the trees in the direction we had to go to get to the Bob Marley jeep (my jeep).

Well, since I am writing this you know we made it safely back. However I made the rest of our journey looking to the right and to the left and up because bears can climb trees! In last year's tradition of naming the bears I saw, I named this bear as well. I called it JB (Joy's Bear) because my friend, Joy lives on Ski Lodge Road. It is my hope that JB escapes the hunters who are out en masse! Praise God for watching over us as we walked on the "safer" trail!

Nomad......It occurred to me over the last few weeks that I am a nomad. Since I was 18 and left for college I have been a wanderer. God has taken me from place to place through Jon's ministry in the Air Force and now his pastorate in Marble, Colorado; the village at the end of the road.....Wow! We have moved every 2-3 years. I am like one of those Bedouin tribes who still roam from place to place. I am like the shepherds who wander from green pasture to green pasture. I am like the Native Americans who followed the buffalo and found winter camps sheltered from high plains wind. The wonders that I have seen and the people that I have met are a precious gift from my Maker. Yet God has over and over called me through Jon's ministry to leave those gifts behind to go to another place.

It is difficult to be a nomad when family is scattered all over and when those we love suffer. We nomads cry tears in silent places and pray prayers in sheltered places. We walk out our front doors to be with the people God has called us to love and we love them. Yet our hearts are full for those far away who cry because of the journey that life is taking them on.

So as a nomad, a wanderer, God has brought me to this place high in the mountains that lies at the end of the road. Its beauty and peacefulness has thrilled my soul in ways that I cannot express in words! It offers many silent places to cry and many shelterd places to pray. It offers peaks in which I have automatically shouted out Halleluia or simply sang the doxology,"Praise God from whom all blessings flow....." Yet I asked God as a nomad, do I have a "place"? The Still Small Voice spoke and said "your place is in Me." My place is Jesus. My home is Jesus. I have a place.

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country---a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God for he has prepared a city for them." Hebrews 11: 13-16

LOST!!!!!! and undone.......Well I suppose it would be better said, we were all lost and I became undone! Jon and I planned a hike through Dark Canyon with another couple who were our friends. I am not sure after yesterday that they will still be our friends. Did I mention that I was lost AND undone?

The Canyon was very beautiful but the trail was a little muddy. The plan was to just hike in 4 miles and hike back out 4 miles. But during our picnic the "men" got out the trail map. Now I do not know if the fact that we would have to return straddling and jumping around mud had anything to do with their decision or if it was a male bonding thing. Whatever the case they decided to take a different trail back. So off we go...

From the very beginning finding the trail was difficult and was climbing up to a ridge line. (the name of said trail was Lightning Ridge Trail, should have been our first clue.) About 40 minutes in we all finally admitted that we were lost! This was the beginning of my "undoneness".  Jon has always stressed the potential danger of getting off trail in the mountains and especially in the wilderness areas. I was once lost as a young girl with my friend, Susan Williams in woods back of her house. It was not fun then and I didn't like the feeling returning in adulthood. So my first reaction was anger; I was mad that we had not returned the way we had planned. I was mad at the decision maker. I was mad! 

Our alternative became what is known as bushwacking. So after consulting the map we started through ferns knee deep and scrubby oaks in the direction the map consulters decided we should go. I kept tripping over logs that were under the brush and falling almost on my face. Jon was stung by yellow jackets every time we stopped. I moved from mad to extremely frustrated! I didn't hold in my feelings. I read somewhere that it was not good to hold in feelings due to the fact that it could lead to a stressful life. Did I mention that I am the pastor's wife and that we were hiking with parishioners? Did I mention that they may no longer want to be MY friends?

Our bushwacking was climbing because after all the trail was suppose to be following the ridge of a mountain. We ran out of water and had to refill at a stream (I have a filtering system for water). I think it was while refilling the water bottle that my camera got lost all on its own. I am sad to say that it didn't make it out. At this time it was around 3:30 and it is now Fall, meaning that the sun drops below the mountains early and it gets cold earlier than in summer. I moved from extremely frustrated to scared! I thought about my friend who was on a rescue team out of the Vail area. Could she find us in all the thick bush we were in? Then I remembered that no one knew that we had taken another trail. Bad rule to break! I also knew a front was coming in with cooler weather and rain. So spending the night on the mountain was not probably going to lead to a good outcome. I did mention fear didn't I?

Well finally once we reached the top of a ridge line and literally beat the bushes to find a trail, my "female" friend found a small trail and I saw a pink ribbon tied to a bush by the trail. I was told it was a hunter's mark for his trail. So off we went. We saw horse skat, YEAH, and footprints even better! The trail was going in the right direction, west and down! And the rest is history because I am now writing this!

I usually end these posts with something "spiritual." My friends or use to be friends had all sorts of beautiful spiritual offerings of the experience. All I can leave with you is PRAISE GOD FOR TAKING CARE OF US AND HELPING US OUT OF THERE! Also I might have figured out the stages of being lost: first anger, second extreme frustration and finally fear. Maybe I could write a book on the stages of lostness. What do you think?

 

So we did the Maroon Pass Trail Hike.........When I go on hikes I try and apply the hike to life and spiritual matters thereby internalizing the hike into my inner life. Jon and I along with another couple who are our friends took on the West Maroon Pass trail. It does not take long in mountain living to realize that when a mountain pass is mentioned that it means climbing or driving up to a particular mountain point and then dropping down to another side. The West Maroon Pass trail leads from Aspen over and down to Schofield Park that gives you access to Crested Butte.

Our hike began at an iconic scene in Colorado called the Maroon Bells which is a view of two famous peaks that are pyramid shaped that are a little more than 14,000 ft in elevation. From the lake at the bottom of these peaks which lies a little above 9000 ft the hiker must hike up to the 12,500 ft pass. Doing the math the trail went up! We began..... We went over rocks and slippery mud and crossed several running streams helping one another by holding out hiking sticks to keep from slipping in and getting completely wet. By the third crossing I ceased to care about wet shoes and wet feet; the goal just became about getting across.

Then we started the above 11,000 ft part. The air is much thinner and breathing became more of an effort. My lungs always tell me when I am at 11,000 ft. We marched on concentrating on one small goal to the next. As we got to 12,000 ft we had 500 more to go to reach the pass. Then it was just a matter of breath step, breath step, sip water, do not look down off the foot path, breath step; you get the idea. Finally we made the pass. Once up there we began cheering on all those we had met on the journey to make the final steps to the top! We took a photo to prove we made it, we ate the second half of our sandwhich, hydrated with fluids and then looked down the other side and thought we have to go all the way down there!!! Oh well that was the only way to the refuge of the car!

We made it down and awaiting us was the car, YEAAAAA!!! and a storybook cabin whose owner had a freshly baked peach pie with homemade whipped cream! I had never tasted a better pie!

So what did I learn? When I think of the hike the word endurance comes to mind. Our spiritual reward goes to those who endure to the end. Along the way God shows us views we never expected to see in our lives. He sends people to cheer us on and gives us the opportunity to cheer others on. And sometimes the way is muddy and sometimes there are streams to cross. Yet those same streams offer a place to refill your water bottle. And sometimes there is the best peach pie you've ever tasted at the end of the trail!

So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded.You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised......Hebrew 10:35-36

 

The call of the mountains........Today I just simply felt the call of the mountains, the call of the trail, the pull to grab my hiking gear and go. So my yellow lab and I took off on the trail to the Crystal Mill! So we jumped into the Bob Marley jeep (not actually named for the singer but the fact that we bought it from a doc named Bob whose wife is named Marly).  Due to that fact they placed a sticker with a picture of the singer Bob Marley inside the back door. Thus the name of my jeep.

So Starbuck and I drove up Daniels Hill and parked and began our hike. The trail goes along the side of the Crystal River and today the river ran clear and brilliant. The sound of it soothed my soul. The energy required for the hike allowed the worries to slip away with each breath, with each drop of sweat and with each "rocky" step. Starbuck and I shared yogurt and peanuts by the Crystal Mill. I breathed the fall-tinged air and my spirit was lifted.

So perhaps the call of the mountains was actually the call of God......."Take my yoke upon you for my burden is gentle and light." "Do not worry about tomorrow for sufficient is the evil of today." Allow Me to be your "refuge and strength." "Trust in me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Me in all your ways and I will make straight your paths." ........Yes I think the call of the mountains was actually the call of God!